I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize