I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize