I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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