Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
