I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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