The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
