You're my little dorito
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
