No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Less talking, more tequila
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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