Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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