I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
