Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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