Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
