the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
