I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
