I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
