I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
