man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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