hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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