He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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