goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
