the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
