There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
