I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize