Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
