Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
