Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize