So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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