Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
