the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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