I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
