my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
