she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
