he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
