he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
