First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Text me some of your sweat
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
