So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
