Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
