Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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