Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
