I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
