the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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