Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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