I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
