If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize