Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
