Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
