the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
