Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
