ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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