Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
