The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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