OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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