he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
