and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize