i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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