So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
