Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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