After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They took my balls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
