i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
