My first STD was from a foam party
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
